DBWO FOR LIFE! A introduction to Da Bear World Order and what it can do for you!

What is Da Bear World Order?
Is it something you want to be a part of?
How much are entry fees?
Do you have to know the Kennedy clan to be apart of it?
Here are the answers: Yes. Prices are negotiable and we offer financing at competitive interest rates based on LIBOR. It wouldn't hurt.
Da Bear World Order is the world order for those who were not tapped to join the New World Order. Da Bear World Order is like the sorority for chubby chicks. Which is to say, there is nothing wrong with chubby chicks... And there is nothing wrong with Da Bear World Order either. But it is not exactly the Bildergerer's. Build-A-Burger perhaps...
Da Bear World Order is a secret society for those who either cannot keep a secret, or have no dirty laundry, inside stories, or conspiracy chat worth talking about. But just because we are outside the loop doesn't mean we are entirely loopy.

If Da Bear World Order were a football conference it would not be eligible to participate in a Bowl Championship Series. But it could still beat the living fuck out of Oklahoma in a top tier bowl game...

Da Bear World Order, aka DBWO, is about playing by your own rules within their game. It is for those people who like the idea of a Tea Party and what it stands for (kinda) but understand that it is run by Republican hacks and operatives (what, by the way, is the difference between a 'hack' and an 'operative'? Is a hack in any way, shape, or form in some way less than an operative? Is the hack the unpaid intern of the Republican Corporation? Are hacks made up entirely of Alex P. Keaton and other members of the Young Republicans? If the hack is the young guy, the rookie, then intern, the pleb, then I guess the 'operatives' are for those who have graduated into full-right-wing-creep mode. In order to be an operative I suppose, you have to have had done some dirty work for the Bush Crime Family, have gone shopping for shoes with Karl Rove, or are currently the head camera man for Sean Hannity. You have to had spent years in the system to be a official 'operative' of the Republican party. You get the official Republican operative decoder ring. And you wear it. With pride. You 'respect' the political career of Richard Nixon. You 'get' Dick Cheney. You 'remember' what the 'G' in G. Gordon Liddy stands for. You get away with calling Oliver North 'Ollie' without getting traded to a South American junta for rusty rifles and decent hash.)

The Coffee Party, on the other hand is comprised mainly of Democratic Party 'hacks' and 'operatives.' Democratic Party hacks are better known as being LaRouche lackey drop-outs and kids who attended the "Liberal Arts Ivies" such as say Williams, majored in subjects such as Political Science and English, but who, nonetheless, have absolutely no chance in hell of getting into any halfway decent accredited law school -- not even Cooley...

Democratic 'operatives' within the Ruling Elite of the Coffee Party are comprised mainly of former Republican party 'hacks' who failed no make the cut for Republican Operativedom. Yes, being a Democratic 'operative' is the B Team to the Republican Party's A Team -- except for the fact that the Republican Party's A Team has no black people. (Yes, that would mean that Michael Steele is still within the confines of the 'hack team.' Michael Steele is still in the minors, somewhere between double A ball and triple A ball. For the Republicans, titular recognition matters not. That is the great thing about the Republican Party. They confuse the fuck out of you.)

What does that, dear reader, have to do with Da Bear World Order? Well, I will tell you in the best way that I can. That is by typing furiously, single-mindedly, and with no regard for humanity. I will start by saying this: it took hundreds of years for the Republican Party and the Democratic Party to form subversive political parties -- parties made primarily of those working for the Big Bad Guys and putting the good little guys on lists (Bill Bonner's AgoraCo. Mailing List for example). But I don't play by their rules. I play by my own rules. And I break my own rules. That is why I have established a rogue political party -- a front front group -- without formally forming an established political party. They have the coffee parties and the tea parties. I have the Green Tea Party. My Green Tea Party is comprised of Da Bear World Order Party aka Da Grand Old Da Bear World Order Party (DGODBWOP) hacks and operatives -- a mainstream political party that I retroactively formed and whose bylaws, corporate charters, and T-shirts say was formed in the inauspicious year of 1984 (it would have been the party of Ronald Reagan had Ronald Reagan done a better job of playing Ronald Reagan. Da Bear World Order Party Defeats Mondale in LANDSLIDE!!!!). The hacks comprising the not-so-talented-tenth of dubiously 'Christian' private high schools, guys who think that the CIA is a cooking school (which it really is, but don't tell them that), and somewhat groovy dudes who used to be hacks in the Libertarian and Green parties but who thought the leadership was lame (Ralph Nader and the guy who runs lewrockwell.com... it could be a guy named Lew Rockwell for all I know...) and who realized that Da Bear World Order Party had better chicks ("Chicks Dig Da Bear!" t-shirts now on sale for the low, low, low price of $9.11!!!). My party operatives are former operatives of the mainstream political parties, the Democrats, the Republicans, the General Electric Party (yes, G.E. is also a political party), and the Lutherans. I poached these operatives with promises of stock options (don't laugh, because I sure as hell didn't when I offered them that during salary negotations), access to a used foose ball table, and two and a half weeks at our time share in Modesto.

The official business plan of The Green Tea Party (comprised of Demopublicans twice removed) is to unite the fringe left (the hippy, dippy, save the Earth at all costs unless it is trying to take over the world, down with corporations except for the dudes that make Volkswagons, Apple computers, and dread locks, pot-smoking Naderites) and the fringe right (the buzz-cut and mullett-wearing, Ron Paul voting, Sarah Palin impersonator toe-sucking, militia joining, votech school dropping-outing, France hating yet I only put ketchup and mustard on my hot dog for 4th of July eating, pot-bellied Reaganites). Indeed, The Green Tea Party unites the fringe left and the fringe right in order to form a fuzzy-headed fringe middle.

So I now have a back story to the political machinations of Da Bear World Order along with the requisite quasi-bogus political party to bring my nutty dreams to fruition.

How to spot a Da Bear World Orderite:

He asks the local bank teller about change. Then he asks the local bank teller to put his 5,000 pennies into duffle bags...

He rants about how gold is the only form of money! ... other than silver, of course.

He thinks that the love of paper money is the root of all paper cuts.

He thinks that the drinking age should be lowered to 18, and the voting age should be raised to 21. The reasoning being that a young, first-time voter would make better decisions at the ballot box if he or she had been drunk for three straight years. He also thinks that beer and liquor should only be legal for people under the age of 35. After that your ass needs to get sober. Just in case you live in Poland, the whole government of that country dies in a plane crash (Air Titanic), and it just so happens that you are next in the line of succession and are made president (kinda like in the movie "King Ralph" starring, perhaps 'starring' is too strong a word, maybe 'featuring' John Goodman, or 'filling-in-for-John-Candy'...)

He orders iced green tea at Starbuck's and actually drinks it.

He or she is in opposition to the direct election of Senators. Da Bear World Orderites think that having the people actually vote for Senators is too direct and messy. He instead proposes a more convoluted process whereby election is rather murky yet somehow majestically ordained. They are somewhat Calvinistic in this sense.

He thinks the 'Progressive Era' amendments are a fraud.

He thinks that California is a fraud, but would nonetheless would contemplate instigating a civil war between Northern California and Southern California and would make the hiring of illegal Mexican invaders (as opposed to legal Mexican invaders) the McGuffin (a McGuffin is a worthless artifact or flimsy premise around which an entire movie is made. Such as the Holy Grail in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade," the Raiders in the "Raiders of the Lost Decades of the Al Davis Regime", Elizabeth Berkley in "Showgirls" -- her boobs exempted, Mac Culkin in "Home Alone", and the future in "Back to the Future" parts one, two, and three). This particular civil war would be started by the Yankee Californians sinking the Queen Mary in Long Beach, then the Confederate Californians would retaliate by pointing out the current, deplorable state of Silicon Valley. Famous battles would ensue. The Battle of Fresno would be interrupted in order for a fire fight to break out in The Battle of Fresno: The California Civil War Edition. Similar battles would take place in Los Angeles (current intertribal and extratribal warfare in the LA county environs, aka LOS DETROIT, and moved to Simi Valley to take place at a later date in time). The occupation of Disneyland by Yankee California forces will prove to be a tipping point. Another tipping point would be the HUGE Red Chinese Army's failure to act for the benefit of the Southern California Confederacy as classes at CalTech and UC Irvine are still in session...).
Obama would then turn on his teleprompter and give a speech freeing the illegal aliens presently in the area south of Santa Barbara (certain areas north of Santa Barbara played off one side against the other, selling gee-gaws and t-shirts to both sides. Fucking Solvang!), exhorting the Mexican Expats (Mexipats) to invade the rest of the country thus infecting the rest of Obama Nation with cheap labor, gangs in white t-shirts, and upiquitous taqueria mystery meat...








da bear

Any questions?